How to Make Friends Abroad and Avoid Common Pitfalls

Moving to a new city or country can be exciting but also incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to making new friends.

You might feel lonely and isolated, struggling to build a social circle while juggling work and other responsibilities. Many of us have been there:

“I’m moving to [new city] today and need help making new friends.” “Making friends while working full-time has been very hard.” “I want to go out, explore the city, and meet new people, but it seems to be a slow process.”

These feelings are common, but they don’t have to last. The key to overcoming this challenge is** understanding the common pitfalls and learning a successful system for building lasting friendships.**

One of my main mistakes in creating new friendships was wanting too much too soon. I wanted to get close and intimate with someone right away, even though I had just met them. Closeness and intimacy develop over time and regular interactions, not just because you desire it.

I also wanted to bypass the initial phase of getting to know someone and building trust. I was so eager for friends that I was too impatient to go through these important first steps.

Additionally, I often let myself be fooled by the persona people presented to me. I believed their words about who they were, only to be disappointed later when their actions didn’t match their words.

I quickly became infatuated with people I thought would make great friends, but interestingly, none of these friendships lasted. I had placed these people on a pedestal, creating an imbalance in the relationship.

Through my experiences, I've identified phases of friendship that might help you if you're starting new friendships:

Initial Meeting and Follow-Up: Meet new people at events or social situations. One of you asks if you'd like to meet up again or do something outside the initial setting.

Building Trust Gradually: Engage in subsequent meetups to slowly build trust. Reflect on what you genuinely like about the person and ensure you’re not projecting unmet needs onto them. Be careful not to "emotionally vomit" – don’t share too much too soon about your traumas or fears. Let them earn your story and vulnerability.

Deepening the Connection: Continue regular meetings while balancing sharing and listening. After a few meetups, play the “Best Friend Game” from my blog to deepen your understanding of each other.

By following these steps, you’ll build genuine, lasting friendships. You’ll learn to approach social situations with ease, develop relationships where you can be your true self, and build a supportive social circle. Imagine leaving each meetup with a smile, knowing you’re slowly but surely building meaningful connections.

I remember feeling the same loneliness when I first moved abroad. I made the mistake of rushing into friendships, which often left me disappointed. But by following these steps, I gradually built a network of true friends. Each meetup became an opportunity to connect more deeply and authentically.

As an embodiment coach and authentic relating facilitator, I’ve helped many individuals overcome social anxieties and build meaningful connections. One participant shared, “Silja’s workshop transformed my social life. I went from feeling isolated to having a circle of supportive friends.”

Spaces are limited to ensure a personalized experience, so don’t miss out – the workshop is on June 13th!

Transform your social life by joining my online workshop, "Making Friends Abroad: Your Fundamental Guide," on June 13th.

Learn practical, authentic techniques to make lasting friendships. Register now and take the first step towards a more connected, fulfilling life!

Register Now: https://silbuch.de/online-workshop

With these steps, making friends abroad can go from a daunting task to an enjoyable journey. Join the workshop and start building the meaningful connections you’ve been longing for!