Embracing Connection and Growth: My First Week in Tallinn

Finding Grounding and Community in Tallinn: My Journey of Connection and Authenticity

I've been in Tallinn for just under a week now, and it feels different compared to my time in Portugal. It's fascinating to notice that I feel more grounded here. I wonder if it's because I now have a stable base in Portugal and wonderful friendships, particularly with Tanja. Her friendship provides me with a sense of security and belonging that I lacked when I first arrived in Portugal. Back then, I was terrified and felt so empty and alone. Now, even though I sometimes feel lonely and sad, I also feel secure and held by my friendships.

I haven't explored much of Tallinn yet; it's just too cold! Yesterday, however, I finally went to a dance class (well, "finally" might be a stretch, since it was only four days after I arrived here). Still, I'm proud of myself for quickly putting myself out there. I know how much I need human connection and how vital it is to me. I'm curious about tomorrow's meet-up and Acroyoga on Sunday. It’s freezing here, but despite the small apartment, I like being here. It’s a strange mix of feeling both comfortable and lonely. It’s only been a week!

I miss knowing my way around and having people to meet up with, which I appreciated about Lagos. I loved feeling familiar there, but I’ll regain that sense of belonging in five minutes once I’m back. In seven months, I'll have a stable home, return to giving workshops, and reconnect with the community I’ve built.

So, why this move to Tallinn for this big event and organization? I notice that I hold many preconceptions about the participants, yet I’m curious about the opportunities and the people I’ll meet there. I feel like I'm peeking into an exclusive club, hoping to uncover the rules to belong. How do I get in? Do I need to change to belong, and do I even want to belong?

Ultimately, I want to be wealthy, known, and a leader who transforms the world by helping people live their authentic selves. I want to help more people cultivate healthy relationships. Slowly, I'm starting to understand how to live authentically in my relationships and surround myself with people who model this for me. How do I expand this beyond my workshops in Lagos? I'm not sure yet.

I often think that what I do doesn’t matter or isn't important enough, that no one cares. Plus, I'm no social media creator and dread recording reels or talking videos. I communicate best through my workshops. But even if I don’t know how my message is received, I do know how hard it’s been to cultivate healthy relationships, and I recognize how much joy my loving friendships bring me.

If you're also on a journey toward deeper connection and authenticity, I hope you'll join me in Lagos in autumne for one of my workshops or follow along on this blog for more insights on creating fulfilling relationships.

— Silja