The Value of Relationships: A Reflection on Modern Networking Advice

Lately, I’ve been mulling over a common piece of advice shared by many successful entrepreneurs: the importance of the people we surround ourselves with. The idea that the five people closest to us have a significant impact on our lives is frequently highlighted, and we're often encouraged to be mindful of who these individuals are. The recommendation to cut ties with "toxic" people is also prevalent. Entrepreneurs emphasize that "your network is your net worth," and social media is flooded with posts claiming that it’s not about how long we’ve known someone, but how intensely we connect with them.

On a basic level, I agree with these ideas. The people in our lives undoubtedly influence us, and it's essential to surround ourselves with positive, supportive individuals. However, what troubles me is how relationships and connections are often portrayed as interchangeable— as mere stepping stones on the ladder to success. This idea doesn’t sit well with me.

Yes, there are friendships and connections that have been part of our lives for a long time, but they may remain somewhat superficial. Conversely, we may have friends we've known only briefly, yet with whom we share an incredibly deep bond. However, I believe that time plays a crucial role in building trust and a sense of commitment. I’ve noticed that while new, intense relationships can be valuable, they don’t hold the same weight for me as friendships I’ve nurtured over many years, where I’ve had the opportunity to cultivate more depth and intimacy.

From my experience, all relationships have the potential for greater depth and intimacy—if both people are willing to put in the effort. I have many friends I've known for years, and our connection ebbs and flows like the tide. We grow, evolve, and sometimes drift apart. But just because someone wasn't a positive influence at one point in time doesn't mean they should be permanently cut out of my life. It might simply mean that the timing wasn’t right.

What I’ve learned is that it’s important not to label people or abruptly sever connections with the mindset of "I’m evolving, so I need to find new friends." Instead, perhaps it’s better to hit the pause button—create some distance without completely removing someone from your life. Relationships can withstand pauses and distance, but they might not recover from outright rejection or dismissal.

So, here’s a final thought for both you and me:

Don’t give up on people too quickly. Often, the people in our lives reflect where we are and who we are in that moment. We tend to connect with others on the level we’re currently at. If you find yourself lacking in closeness or depth, perhaps it’s time to cultivate these qualities within yourself first and learn how to bring them into your relationships.

And if you’re interested in exploring this further, consider joining one of my workshops—on August 22nd in Tallinn or online on August 30th. More information can be found on my website.

Let’s not just build networks, but nurture meaningful connections.